Breaking up can be a difficult time for both partners, and when kids are involved, it becomes even harder. As the couple deals with their own emotions and changes, so do the children, and keeping their emotions in perspective is vital during this critical time.
To begin with, encourage support and compassion on your child rather then letting loose your frustrations at this time. Explain the reason of the break up gently to them.
Here are some ways to deal with your child when you are breaking up with your partner:
- Explain the reason of the new change and separation with your partner. Have a deep conversation with them and listen to their views and questions. Be clear about your reasons and be gentle throughout the discussion. You and your partner could both explain the reason together to the kids. Be honest and clear on your decision and reason.
- Ensure your child does not feel blamed for the break up. They should know it was not their fault for separating the partners. Both parents need to tell the children they are loved by them, and will continue to do so after the separation.
- When a child questions the break up, answer with honesty and sensitivity. Explain the answers to the questions and understand their fears to this new change.
- Your child will go through various emotional reactions and you need to be prepared for it. They may feel angry, upset, and annoyed with the new setup. They may begin to wet the bed if they are young, and if they are older, they will have tantrums, anger breakouts, and anxiety as well. Stay calm throughout.
- Always encourage them to speak about their emotions and question them on how they feel on the new life.
- Take them out more and get them involved in new sports and school activities.
- Let the child communicate with old family members and friends. This will make them feel like they have a stable network.
- When you are ready for a new relationship, discuss it with your child first and see how they feel about it.